Sorry
Elton John is right: Sorry does seem to be the hardest word.
I had to suck it up and apologize to a student for a mis-step on my part last Friday. We will call him B. Granted, B is very rambuncious, and, given his personality, he often gets caught in the act, even if he did not perpetrate the act.
Well, such was the case on last Friday morning. Last Friday morning was especially strange. Kids in the class who never act out acted like they had lost their minds. I realize that it was a full moon, but, even that could not account for the behavior.
In any event, I had to talk to B on several occasions. Usually, he responds. But, on this particular morning, B wasn’t responding, to the point that I asked him to move his seat next to mine. A Killer for a middle school boy.
Anyway, when class ended, one of the other students from the class said, “Miss Profe, I realize that B often acts out, but, it wasn’t his fault this time.”
Upon hearing this, I realized that I may have been in error. Upon further reflection over the course of the weekend, I acknowledged I was in error.
So, on this past Tuesday, I said to B in front of the entire class, ”B, I owe you an apology for last Friday. I wrongly accused you, and, I am very sorry.”
B graciously accepted my apology, and said, “It’s okay, Miss Profe.”
I continued by saying, “It does mean, however, that I need to be more attentive to what is going on in the classroom, so that I do not wrongly accuse another student.”
The silence was indelible. Then a student said, “Now I’m scared, Miss Profe.”
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You shouldn’t have apologized unless it was that deep. Like, I hear from a lot of parents how even when they’re wrong, just their ability to snap will make them think twice the next time they try something insane. If you apologize, it makes you soft. Sorry, I sound kinda like I just got out of school. Oh wait, I did.
Jose - January 30, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Maybe you’ve read this: while conventional wisdom has said that doctors should not admit to errors, for fear that the admission could be used against them in malpractice lawsuits… some recent work has shown that a doctor is actually less likely to be sued if she admits the error and apologizes for it.
“Sorry” may be a hard word for some, but it really IS a magical one. It’s so often just what we want to hear, and while a sincere apology won’t fix everything, it’ll certainly go a long way.
Barry Leiba - January 31, 2008 at 12:23 am