Still Here

Pissed Off Teacher’s recent comment re: my whereabouts left a smile on my face and a nice, warm and fuzzy feeling all over. I read her comment last evening from my laptop as I lay in bed. However, I was so tired that I couldn’t find the energy to post anything. So, I made it my mission to post the next day, which is now evening.

She’s right; I have been M.I.A. Life, both at school and personally, has been mad busy. Between helping to care for my dad, deal with classes and students, and, feeling so mad tired, my writing here on the blog has been kicked to the curb. However, I am striving to be more diligent.

I did, however, take time out to celebrate Cinco de Mayo on yesterday afternoon by going to a local Mexican restaurant. It is a small, family owned operation - three young Mexican men. I ordered cheese enchiladas with mole sauce, accompanied by rice and beans. I then ordered flan for dessert. The best flan I’ve eaten, and I’ve eaten lots of flan over the years.

Someone I knew several years ago told me that the connections one has to people online are neither genuine nor real. Given Pissed Off Teacher’s concern for me, I say he’s very mistaken.

Thank you, Pissed Off Teacher, for having my back.

Unusually Tired

I’ve been feeling so exhausted lately that some mornings all I want to do is crawl back into bed. Which has greatly impacted my early morning workout. My mother asked me why I am so tired. I told her that I did not know. Then, I remembered that I am anemic - seriously anemic, according to my primary care physician. I’ve not been taking my iron supplements. For the past two months I have felt much better, and I believed I could do without them. But, I think the situation has now caught up with me.

It’s time to re-schedule the appointment for the annual physical. I say, re-schedule, because my annual was slated for November. However, life happens, as they say. I also thought that I could perhaps wait until the spring, or, even when school has ended for the summer, to go. But, given the way I am feeling, perhaps that isn’t a good idea after all.

What is it with these kids???

I have a question: Why is it that kids with ADHD have such difficulty keeping their hands to themselves? Case in point. No, three cases in point.

Case #1: Yesterday in class, there was student playing with a candy wrapper. Now, it is one thing to tinker. But, here was this student, folding and crinkling the wrapper - audibly and in full view of me and other students. I had had enough; I took away the wrapper and threw it in the trash.

Case#2: Yesterday, in the same class, another student was sqeezing on his water to the point that it made that crinkling sound that I despise. Again, I had had enough and asked the student to put the bottle to the side.

Case #3: About a year or two ago, a student sat in my class, and during a presentation, proceeded to rip the clear plastic covering from his notebook - you guessed it - audibly and in full view of me and the other students. Boy; you’re good! Anyway, I asked the student why he would do something like that during class, during a lesson? He said he didn’t know. I took the notebook away from him. Since he found no other use for it other than to rip it apart, I figured he really didn’t need it - at least, not for my class.

Is there a connection between ADHD and self-awareness? It’s as if they are so focused with whatever it is with which they are tinkering that they seem to lose all consciousness of the world around them. I know that kids with ADHD can be taught to self-regulate. So, why don’t the parents know? Or, is it just too much effort to teach kids with ADHD these skills?

To me, ADHD is not an excuse for not developing the skills for managing oneself.

Another Rough One

I think I was destined to be a middle school teacher.

My days begin so wonderfully with my eighth grade Spanish 1’s. They are so cooperative and productive, and I enjoy teaching in their presence.

The Spanish 2’s are, as they say, something else. Especially my Day One last block class, which met today.

Spring Fever has sprung. But, it is far from over - the school year, I mean. And, today we were reviewing for the upcoming chapter test. Not fun, but, it isn’t supposed to be. Well, I guess I was not entertaining enough for one particular student. His body language spoke proverbial volumes w/r/t his attitude: He didn’t want to be there, and found it hard to engage. I asked the student to leave. He said, “Is that really what you want me to do?” I said yes. I added that it seemed like he was finding it hard to be there, so, perhaps he needed to spend time with the Dean of Students. With that, the class was able to move forward more smoothly and productively. Granted, the class is comprised of students representing a wide array of abilitites. That said, they were most productive, and did not have the spector of the student in question looming and draining their intellectual and emotional energy.

Later on in conversation with the Dean of Students, the student in question told him that I had kicked him out of class for no reason. Well, let’s correct this. First, I did not kick him out; I politely asked him to leave. Second, I explained to him the reason he was asked to leave.

For the record, the aforementioned student has serious impulsivity issues. When he’s not being hopelessly impulsive with his mouth, he’s acting like he’s in 23-hour solitary confinement. Either way, he’s difficult, and the parents are in denial. Classic textbook ADHD.

Anyhoo…

What’s Going On, Technologically Speaking

I’ve been tinkering lately with technology. Well, more than tinkering; using. First, one of the tech guys introduced me to a digital voice recorder: An Olympus DS-2. After going back and forth re: the pros and cons of using the iPod and a mic attachment, he produced the voice recorder. It is easy to use, and, following some initial trepidation on the part of the students - my Spanish 2’s, to be exact - they actually enjoyed the experience. The digital voice recorder produces WMA files, which I converted to MP3 files using freeware: Zamzar.com.

With respect to the iPod, I identified a mic which is compatible with my iPod classic: Griffin Technology iTalk Pro Voice Recorder. It snaps onto the bottom of the iPod, and records beautifully.

Two days ago, I created an MP3 file of some vocabulary for my eighth grade Spanish 1’s. One student has even downloaded it to his iPhone. Cool. I thought to have the audio for the words would be helpful, especially since I teach a range of learners.

I used an online flashcard website called Flashcardmachine.com for my Spanish 1’s. It is an electronic database for flashcards. It allows one to access the complete library of flashcard sets by subject and grade created by others. It also allows students and teachers to create and use flashcards compatible with the textbooks they are using.

Last, I’ve been exploring Voice Thread. It’s cool. I just don’t know how I am going to use it. I would, however, like to do a Wiki with my Spanish 1’s. We’re doing sports, and, it may prove to be a nice in-class mini project.

Anyhoo…

The past couple of weeks

The past couple of weeks have been stressful at school. I take too much to heart, which leaves me so drained emotionally and physically that I have nothing left over at the end of the day for my personal life. I am trying to change some things. I have been working out on the treadmill several days a week. In fact, I just returned from a workout. I am finding that on the days that I do my treadmill workout, I not only have energy at the end of the day to enjoy my after-school time at home, but I am also less cranky and stressed, and better able to cope with the frustrations and aggravations at school.

I also had my three year evaluation on last Wednesday. Yes, I am on the down slope of my third year at BWYA Independent School. I wasn’t looking forward to it; I was stressing on how to express the bad and the ugly, while balancing it with appropriate amounts of the good. I spent an hour deconstructing my year with the Dept. Chair, Middle School Division Head and Upper School Division Head. Since I teach both middle and upper school Spanish, I report to both division heads. My “home” is in the Middle School, since I am a middle school advisor.

Anyway, I described my three years as “Satisfactory”. Now, perhaps the individuals in question expected me to smile as broadly as a watermelon-eating Black Sambo, exclaiming, “We’s fine! Yes Sir, Boss!”. However, I was honest yet detached in my assessment, stating that there have been aggravations and frustrations, and that the emotional and physical toll is often great in attempting to teach to the range of cognitive and emotional needs of the students. This is compounded by the fact that I find it hard to ask for help. Due to cultural and personality factors, asking for help shows a lack of competence. The Upper School Division Head really got this, and made some helpful recommendations. I also am a strong woman with strong opinions, and this is hard for my colleagues to swallow. I suppose a Black woman with strong opinions is doubly hard for some of my colleagues to stomach. In any event, I need to find a way to express my opinions without shutting myself down for fear of offending others.

It was a productive meeting overall. Additionally, it forced the Dept. Chair to be more transparent in how she determines who teaches which levels. I have expressed a desire to teach a higher level of Spanish next year. When the Dept. Chair explained how she does it, and why she’s been reluctant to having me teach higher levels - she’s noticed my stress level has been high, and my lack of follow-through on some projects (self-initiated, and not part of my role). And all of this time I thought that she did not believe that I had the ability to teach higher levels, which I had done successfully for six years at my previous place of employ. Hmmm. Did it ever occur to her that these things may have had to do with my father’s surgery this past winter, in addition to the way I was feeling in general? Me not following through is highly uncharacteristic. However, she never asked, although she had numerous opportunties to do so. Yet, during the meeting, she expressed that she was “worried” about me.

It’s going to be challenging to convince me that reaching out to my colleagues is a sign of strength and not weakness, since I have operated in this mode much of my life. I do, however, need to do less front-loading of my comments and opinions, for they do carry judgements, albeit appropriate some of the time, so that more people can hear my words, rather than my self-righteous indignation.

A Very Nice Birthday

My actual birthdate was on Friday, 11 April. However, due to my having to return to campus on last Friday evening for a foreign language program, I could celebrate only a little bit on The Day.

So, The Day began with a colleague announcing to the entire school during Community Meeting that it was my birthday. Many students, and a few faculty, came up to me to offer me well wishes. Two students gave me hugs - very sweet. I then proceeded to an off-campus excursion with one of my Spanish 2 classes to a local Puerto Rican restaurant, where we enjoyed a variety of traditional foods. It was nice spending time with the students in that setting, talking and eating. It also exposed them to a section of the city to which many have never ventured, and afforded them an opportunity to experience the Spanish speaking culture in an authentic way.

Later on that day, my parents and brother delivered a dozen long-stem yellow roses to the school. So beautiful! They are now in full bloom, and I am enjoying them immensely. I left school early for a haircut, and dinner at Ruby Tuesday. I ordered my usual - Ruby Minis with fries and the salad bar, and a martini - not my usual - called Georgia Peach. It was good. For dessert, I ordered the chocolate cake with the gooey chocolate middle. I was a bit disappointed that the server did not put a candle in the dessert - despite my having told her it was my birthday. When I arrived home from the foreign language program, I spoke to one of my dear friends. She and I are the same age, and, we share the same birthday - April 11. She, however, is eight hours older than I. It was nice to receive her greeting, and to hear how she spent her day: A day off from work, spent at the day spa, and then dinner with a friend.

Saturday, I went to visit my parents and brother. My mother prepared my favorite meal - fried chicken, along with oven roasted Yukon Gold seasoned potatoes, and Brussels sprouts. She also made me a birthday cake - yellow cake with chocolate frosting. I had two pieces of cake. My parents and brother presented me with birthday cards and gifted me with money.

Sunday, I prepared breakfast for the family: Grits, hard boiled eggs, toast, and bacon. Later, Mom and I prepared dinner: oven roasted New York strip steak, which I marinated with Lawry’s Seasoned Salt, and a paste of apricot preserves, white sugar, garlic, cinnamon and extra virgin olive oil. The meat came out tender and flavorful. Mom made macaroni and cheese, fresh green beans, and corn muffins. I did some chores for Mom, and took a nap before my brother took me home.

Thank you to all of you who stopped by and wished me Happy Birthday. It made my special day all the more so.

Not A Good Day

In fact, the past few days haven’t been the best.

My work overall with the students has been good. Still, I’ve felt cranky and aggravated. As I told a friend and colleague this afternoon who has noticed my crankiness and aggravation, and who cared enough to ask, I told him this: I feel as if I have to fix things, but, I can’t. I can’t fix a student’s learning disabilities, or his home life, or his depression. Yet, the school continues to admit more and more of these kids, and the ninth grade class seems especially ill-equipped on so many levels. So, what am I supposed to do, and, why isn’t anybody else losing sleep over these matters in the same way I am?

I also said something to someone that now I wish I had not said. Not because others disagreed with me, or because it caused some consternation, but, my having said what I did changed nothing. So, was it worth my putting myself “out there”? I cannot go into the matter any more than I have, except to say that it is the very reason I try to be incognegro at school.

I really do need to get a life. As I recall, I have a father who is recovering from a total hip replacement. I should be devoting my energies to that. He’s doing well, by the way.

Perhaps tomorrow, which is my birthday, will be better, and, perhaps the start of me having more of a life and worrying less about the things at school.

Like Plants, Students Can Be Over-Watered

Having been in independent schools for fourteen years, the most popular way in this venue for getting students to be more accountable and responsible for their work is to have every teacher sign the student’s planner. 

This is the way the planner method works: Student presents planner to teacher, who in turn determines if what the student has written accurately describes the assignment to be completed. Teacher then signs it. When the student arrives home, parent confirms that all assignments written in the planner have been completed, and signs off as well.  Two days ago my division head tried to sell this loser to me in order to solve the problem of one of my student’s not submitting his assignments.

The fundamental issue with the planner method is that it does nothing to promote accountability, responsibility and ownership on the part of the student. First, every teacher has to follow behind the student.  Second, it relies on certain assumptions: 1. it is assumed that the student will approach the teacher with the planner for signature, but, on too many occasions, it is the teacher reminding the student; and 2. The parent is going to match the work completed against the work assigned; and sign the planner; and 3.  The student is actually going to bring both the assignment and the planner to school the next day.

Seeing that the work is completed is the parent’s job, not the teacher’s. Accountability, responsibility and ownership for learning is part of the home training process. Furthermore, many schools now have homework bulletin boards, blogs, etc. where it is very easy for the parent and child to check the work to be completed together.  

Anyway, I told my division head that given the school year is two-thirds over, what purpose would the planner method serve now, in addition to the fact that it does nothing to promote greater accountability and responsibility?

In this case, the parent needs to step it up at home.

Remembering Dr. King, 40 Years Later

To commemorate the 40th anniversary of the assassination of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  I have posted here some links which may be of interest: A Newsweek interview with Dr. Michael Eric Dyson, and and a collection of articles, speeches and photographs from the Atlanta Journal Constitution, for those desiring more historical background.

In talking with my mother last evening, she told me that she recalls exactly where she was and what she was doing on the day Dr. King was assassinated.  The same is true for her when President Kennedy was assassinated.  I suppose events such as the assassination of a prominent leader freezes for all eternity the moment in which such events occur; one never forgets. 

Even though we have not yet achieved Dr. King’s dream, nationally or internationally, things are much better for many Black Americans, to which my mother and father can attest.  Having grown up in the segregated South, the world was a very different and very dangerous place for Black Americans during the 1930s, 1940s, 1950s and 1960s.

I fear, however, that as events like the assassination of Dr. King and the March on Washington become more remote, more distant, and more removed from our post-modern society, the less people under the age of 40 know about and think about such things.  Dr. King was so much more than his “I Have A Dream” speech, and his legacy transcends the month of January.  He spoke well beyond his short life, and deconstructed better than anyone has before or since the intersectionality of race and socioeconomics, here in the United States and abroad.  Dr. King became a real threat when he spoke out against the Vietnam War, poverty, the depletion of natural resources and imperialism; it jeopardized the Old World Order.  Advocating for the rights of Black Americans was just the beginning.

I hope you will take this opportunity to educate yourselves re: the aforementioned, and remember Dr. King today in a proactive way.